Sabi nila, women can’t…

“Kababae mong tao, pero…“

“Uy, hindi pambabae ‘yan…“

Sounds all too familiar, right?

In our society, women are often placed at a disadvantage for merely existing. Women are treated as second-class citizens compared to men and, lalo na sa Filipino culture, common na maririnig na ang mga babae ay mag-aasawa lang o “they belong in the kitchen.” Fortunately, we have a certain level of progress that fights these stereotypes.

Inside workplaces, schools, and even on our laws, may mga measures nang in-place to deal with these harmful and backwards thinking. For example, Section 13 of Republic Act No. 9710 or The Magna Carta of Women calls for “Equal Access and Elimination of Discrimination in Education, Scholarships, and Training.” Nakalagay rin sa section na ito na kailangang i-revise ang mga educational materials and items in the curricula na mayroong gender stereotypes. A win for women students, ‘di ba?

Pero, kahit na may progress on our laws and institutions, nararamdaman ba ng mga women students ang mga pagbabagong ito? Can they say that there’s change when it comes to their experiences? 

As we close Women’s Month, we talked to different women students at tinanong namin kung ano ang kanilang mga experiences. Here’s what they have to say:

“Women can’t enter a man’s world!” 

Nasabihan ka na ba na ‘yung hobby or sport na gusto mo ay hindi pambabae? Though we have welcomed women into several sports and activities, this sentiment still remains. Andie is a sports photographer and a former athlete. She is also a student in a male dominated program: BS Molecular Biology.  

As a woman, Andie feels empowered when she is able to prove that womanhood is not limited to what people think. “Being a woman is not and should not be directed by the impression of others,” Andie said. 

She is often told that her hobbies are “not on brand” for a woman. Sinasabihan din sya na masyadong “muscular” ang katawan nya. She has also experienced being belittled in her field, being provoked by “mansplainers” on several occasions. Yet, this does not stop her from being the woman she is and has always been. 

According to Andie, womanhood and feminism are concepts that society still has to learn to fully embrace. Pero, this doesn’t mean na we can’t push boundaries. We have made progress in including women in fields that are normally associated with men, with Andie being proof that women can pursue both sports and science. 

“Women can’t be masculine!”

As a woman, Nina once found herself struggling to feel a connection to her femininity. Lumaki sya nang hindi nya nagugustuhan ang mga stereotypically “girly” things like the color pink or even ballet classes. Being an individual who did not fit into the stereotypical definition of a woman was difficult for her.

In her experience, being a woman is being empowered. Pero minsan, it still means having to wear extra layers of clothes ‘pag sasakay sya ng train. While Nina embraces her masculinity, embracing her femininity felt like it came with being sexualized. This is an experience that Nina also faces inside the gym. 

Nakahanap si Nina ng passion and excitement sa pagiging isang weight lifter. Though, she recognizes that this comes with a price. Trying to look cute while lifting, for example, is not always met with kindness. 

Despite this, she came to realize that being a woman is not defined by society’s view of femininity. Our identity is a product of our experiences. So, why think that simply not liking girly things can make you any less of a woman?  Bakit natin kailangang isipin na being in a gym means sacrificing your femininity? Regardless of what the world says or, she is unapologetic, she is authentic, and she will continue to lift other women (herself included) up. 

“Women can’t excel in academics!”

Aubrey is an individual who takes pride in her academic expertise, and ito ang kanyang definition ng womanhood. She believes that womanhood can be seen in being academically competitive, kahit na minamaliit ka ng iba. And as a “girl’s girl,” encouraging and helping others in their academic success is something that strengthens her passion. Para sa kanya, a woman is defined by her interests, her skills, her personality, and her experiences. Though, nothing screams womanhood quite like the ability to cheer each other on. 

She, too, has had her fair share of the realities of being a woman in a society that can be both progressive and conservative. Despite being confident in her own intellectual ability, it was difficult for her to be a woman in her family with older brothers who are often compared to her. For example, she recalls several occasions in which her brothers were told compliments like “matalino siya,” “magaling siya,” or “leader yan!” For her, however, compliments were handed out differently (or they weren’t compliments at all!): “maganda siya,” “mabait siya,” “may pagka-bossy ‘yan!”

This is when Aubrey realized that, despite all the progress we have made for women, the reality that standards and expectations are different for men and women still linger. Kung yung mga brothers nya ay kayang i-express freely ang mga sarili nila, she is confined to the idea of being a modest woman — that excelling makes her “bossy.” 

Aubrey’s story serves as our reminder that there are still standards that we must outgrow as a society. Women should not be pressured to present themselves in a certain way simply to adhere to outdated thinking. This simply reminds us that raising women to be empowered starts at the very basic unit of the society: the family. 

“Women can’t be leaders!”

Ang pagiging babae ay puno ng obstacles na kailangan nating ma-conquer. We encounter difficulties na kailangan nating i-work through, at mga stereotypes na dapat nating ma-overcome. Despite this, womanhood is also a sacred bond. This is what Kleyra shared, describing womanhood as a connection that transcends words, and a sisterhood kung saan ine-empower at inu-uplift natin ang isa’t isa.

Kleyra acknowledges that it is hard for women to fight for a place in this world, kahit sa modern era. Alam nya na we are still plagued with prejudice and limited by misogynistic thinking. She emphasizes that we should always keep in mind that being a woman means wielding your words and actions with power when those who go against you are speaking without reason. 

Para sa kanya, being a woman is about leading others towards a mindset. Ang mindset na ‘to is that women can experience the positive light of their womanhood — that we can further build this environment in which we can support each other freely, as long as we continue to fight for it. 

If there’s any takeaway from these women, it’s that being a woman is being limitless. Walang hindi kayang gawin ang mga kababaihan. Students pa lang sila, pero malayo na ang kanilang nararating in terms of fighting for equality — fighting against the “can’ts” na naririnig nila. Despite all the limitations and stereotypes, ang mga kababaihan ay strong, capable, intellectual, at influential beings. 

Let us move forward to fight for the future of the women of the present, and to build a better world for the women of tomorrow.

“Babae ka, hindi babae lang!”